It’s over. Bend the knee to Bitcoin. Bezos and Musk will be court jesters in the age of Bitcoin.
Neckbeards in Lambos are our future. Men who can’t wash their nether regions unassisted are the new financial lords of the universe. They mined Bitcoin on their mom’s AMD laptop in 2012 and now they can buy 50% of the companies on the S&P.
Fly’s hallowed halls are in decay. Millenial Bitcoin Operators are taking over. Don’t fear, we will be sure to reserve space for a plaque to honor the past greatness of Stock traders. RIP.
But things are unsettled in Crypto. Bitcoin nears $6,700 but it’s a speeding train headed to a valley with no bridge.
Alas, the neckbeards are taking arms against each other. They’ve taken breaks from LARPing to point their sharp barbs and most wicked memes in each other’s general direction and shots have been fired.
We have Battle of the Bitcoins.
- Bitcoin Core. Headed by lead dev and Blockstream CEO Adam Back
- Bitcoin Cash. The version of Bitcoin that honors the original design and direction of Bitcoin
- Bitcoin 2x. To be forked from Bitcoin Core in ~2 weeks
If it didn’t immediately jump out at you…..the fucking CEO of Blockstream is the lead dev of Bitcoin Core. LOL that’s like Blankfein being the Fed Reserve Chair. Conflict of interest much? And then Bitcoin Core wonders why people are pissed off. Blockstream exists to siphon value from Bitcoin into their own coffers. This battle is about taking control of Bitcoin back from Blockstream.
Much like Highlander, there can be only ONE Bitcoin. These three versions will battle for supremacy and there will be epic levels of fuckery in two weeks. Expect 50% intraday price swings. All you blue balled Bitcoin bears will see fantastical price crashes. But Bitcoin may hit $10k by mid November before the fireworks begin!
So, here’s your Bitcoin survival plan:
- Put coins on an exchange that will grant holders 2x coins soon after fork.
- Set your sell / buy orders as you see fit ahead of the fork.
- Buckle the fuck up.
Personally I’ve gone full retard. I am all in on Bitcoin Cash. I will be sitting on the sidelines with a big bag of popcorn in mid November. I am playing the long game. I will either get #REKT in true Crypto legend fashion or I will 10x my returns for getting in early and low. I am what I call “irresponsibly allocated”.
Many of you may have real world responsibilities that prevent you from YOLO’ing your net worth on a monthly basis like yours truly. However, if you do own some Bitcoin you can hedge with Bitcoin Cash. I don’t care if you agree with my investing thesis at 14:1 ratio you can hedge your Bitcoin portfolio with Bitcoin Cash and it fucking makes sense. It’s cheap insurance.
The next few weeks will determine if I get my dick guillotined or am able to buy a small private island.
Good day to you sir.